I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
