is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Randomize
