If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
