Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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