What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
