so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
