Do you still have your period?
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
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