it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
