She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
