i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
