so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize