Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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