$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize