Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off

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(302): View more from Delaware

you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.

(1-302): View more from Delaware

he's 29.

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(810): View more from Michigan

maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.

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(315): View more from New York

I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun

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(320): View more from Minnesota

What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.

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(828): View more from North Carolina

nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...

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(336): View more from North Carolina

I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.

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(901): View more from Tennessee

Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.

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