so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
