I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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