Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Randomize