thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
my poor anus
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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