Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
