Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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