Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
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