What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
