I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
