i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Randomize
