I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
