Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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