i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
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