Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
