is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
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