Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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