She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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