yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
