Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
