The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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