I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
ok first of all what the fuck
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
