I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
