I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
