Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
