i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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