Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
