yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
