8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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