Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
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