She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Randomize
