Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
This is the high leading the old right now
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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