This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I skipped work to stalk him.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
