I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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