just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
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