I just made out with a guy for $7.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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