sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
