Dual....:-)
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I will pee on everything he values.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
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