some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
