This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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