Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize