Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Randomize