this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
