I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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