I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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