We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
